CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Disappointing Photography Workshop

This complaint email explains which photography workshop you took, what went wrong and what you want from the school. The tricky part is showing the gap between the advertisement and reality so your request for a refund seems fair.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

Last Saturday, you paid $150 for a one-day photography workshop at an arts school in Vancouver. The advertisement promised a small class and practice taking photos outdoors. However, there were 30 students, and the instructor spent the whole day showing slides indoors.

Write an email to the arts school’s program manager in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Explain which workshop you attended and why you chose it.

Describe the problems you had during the workshop.

Tell the manager what you would like the school to do.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A formal, polite but firm email to the arts school's program manager about a disappointing photography workshop in Vancouver.
Cover: which workshop and why you chose it, the problems, and what you want.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Program Manager," and one line on the purpose.
Workshop: last Saturday's one-day photography workshop, $150; you chose it because the advertisement promised a small class and outdoor practice.
Problems: 30 students, no personal feedback, and the instructor showed slides indoors all day; you never used your camera.
Request: a partial or full refund, or a free place in a real small outdoor session.
Closing: "I look forward to your response," full name and phone.

Useful vocabulary

workshop, as advertised, hands-on practice, small group
slideshow, misleading, partial refund, feedback

Phrases

I attended your... workshop on...
The advertisement promised..., but...
I would appreciate it if the school could...

Avoid

Insulting the instructor; focus on the broken promises.
Not saying exactly what you want the school to do.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Program Manager, I'm writing about the one-day "Outdoor Photography Essentials" workshop I attended at your school last Saturday, for which I paid $150. I chose this course specifically because the advertisement promised a small group and hands-on practice shooting outdoors along the Vancouver seawall. Having recently bought my first mirrorless camera, I was looking for exactly that kind of practical guidance. Unfortunately, the workshop bore little resemblance to its description. Roughly 30 students were packed into the classroom, which made individual feedback impossible. More disappointingly, the instructor spent the entire day presenting slides indoors. We never set foot outside, and I didn't take a single photograph. When I asked for help adjusting my shutter speed, I was told there wasn't time. While the slides contained some useful information, the workshop simply wasn't what I paid for. I would therefore appreciate a full refund of my $150. Alternatively, I'd accept a place in a future workshop that genuinely offers a small class and outdoor practice, provided you can confirm those details in writing. Thank you for looking into this. I look forward to your response. Sincerely, Martin Dubois

188 words

Why it scores high

Vocabulary: 'bore little resemblance to its description' and 'packed into the classroom' express disappointment in precise and controlled language.
Content/Coherence: asking for help 'adjusting my shutter speed' and admitting 'the slides contained some useful information' makes the complaint balanced and credible.
Task Fulfillment: requiring that details be confirmed 'in writing' turns the alternative offer into a careful, realistic request.

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Program Manager, I am writing about the one-day photography workshop, "Outdoor Photography Basics", which I attended at your school last Saturday. I paid $150 for this course. I chose it because the advertisement promised a small class and plenty of practice taking photos outdoors in Stanley Park. I had just bought my first DSLR camera and wanted hands-on guidance from a professional. Unfortunately, the workshop was nothing like what was advertised. There were about 30 students in the room, so it was impossible to get any individual attention. Also, the instructor spent the whole day showing slides indoors. We never went outside, and I did not take a single photo all day. When I tried to ask a question about my camera settings, the instructor said there was no time. I feel that I did not receive the service I paid for. I would like the school to refund my $150. Alternatively, I would accept a free spot in a workshop that really is small and includes outdoor practice. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely, Laura Chen

179 words

What works, and what's missing

Content/Coherence: naming the course 'Outdoor Photography Basics' and promised practice 'in Stanley Park' clearly shows what the school advertised.
Task Fulfillment: the instructor saying 'there was no time' for a camera question adds strong evidence before the clear refund or free-place request.
Vocabulary: 'nothing like what was advertised' is effective, but expressions such as 'individual attention' are fairly standard.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Program Manager, My name is Jin Park. Last Saturday I go to the one-day photography workshop at your school. I pay $150 for it. I choose this workshop because the advertisement say it is small class and we will practise to take photos outside. I just buy a new camera and I want to learn how to use it. But the workshop was very different. There was 30 students in the room, not small class. The instructor show slides all day inside the classroom. We never go outside and we never use our camera. I can't ask any question because too many people. I was very disappointed. I think this is not fair because the advertisement was wrong. I want you to give me my money back. Or, I can take another workshop for free, if it is really small and outside. Please answer me soon. Thank you, Jin Park

151 words

What holds it back

Readability: 'Last Saturday I go', 'I pay $150' and 'the advertisement say it is small class' place almost every past event in the present tense.
Vocabulary: 'There was 30 students' and 'we will practise to take photos outside' contain agreement and verb-pattern errors.
Task Fulfillment: the refund or free workshop request is clear, but 'I think this is not fair because the advertisement was wrong' sounds blunt.

These are original CELPass examples written at each level. The CLBs are our estimates, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB