CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Mice in the Apartment

This email asks you to report mice in your kitchen, argue that the whole building is affected, and press management for a date. The tricky part is the middle point: one neighbour's experience has to become a convincing case for building-wide treatment.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

You live in a large apartment building in Kitchener. For the past two weeks, you have seen mice in your kitchen, and you have found that they have chewed through food packages in your cupboards. Your neighbour across the hall has had the same problem.

Write an email to the property management company in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Describe the problem in your apartment.

Explain why you think the problem may affect the whole building.

Ask the company to take action and tell you when.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A formal, polite but firm email to the property management company about mice in your Kitchener apartment.
Cover: the problem, why the whole building may be affected, and a request for action with a date.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Property Manager," with your unit number.
Problem: for two weeks you've seen mice in the kitchen; they chewed through food packages in cupboards.
Whole building: your neighbour across the hall has the same issue, so mice may move through walls and pipes; other units may be next.
Request: hire a licensed pest control company to inspect and treat the building, seal holes; ask for a date within a week.
Closing: thank them, full name, unit and phone.

Useful vocabulary

infestation, pest control, exterminator, droppings
chewed through, health hazard, seal entry points, inspection

Phrases

I am writing to report a serious problem with...
Since my neighbour has the same issue, I believe...
Please let me know when... will be scheduled.

Avoid

Forgetting to ask for a specific date.
Exaggerating or using an angry tone.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Property Management Team, I am writing to report a mouse infestation in my apartment, unit 914 at 220 Frederick Street in Kitchener, and to request prompt action. Over the past two weeks, I have seen mice in my kitchen several times, mostly in the evenings near the stove and under the sink. They have also chewed through packages of crackers, rice and oatmeal in my cupboards. I have thrown out a considerable amount of food, sealed everything else in glass jars, and set traps, but the problem has not improved. I suspect this is not limited to my unit. My neighbour across the hall in 915 has been dealing with exactly the same issue over the same period, which suggests the mice are moving through shared walls, pipes or the garbage chute. If that is the case, treating individual apartments will only push them from one unit to another. I would therefore ask you to arrange a professional inspection and treatment of the entire floor, and preferably the whole building, as soon as possible. Could you please confirm the date by the end of this week so I can be available? Thank you for your attention. Sincerely, Leila Moradi

200 words

Why it scores high

Content/Coherence: 'moving through shared walls, pipes or the garbage chute' gives a cause, and 'will only push them from one unit to another' turns it into a strong argument.
Vocabulary: precise choices such as 'mouse infestation', 'considerable amount of food' and 'professional inspection and treatment' keep the tone firm but professional.
Task Fulfillment: 'confirm the date by the end of this week' sets a clear deadline, and listing traps and glass jars shows the writer has already tried to solve it.

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Property Management Team, My name is Robert Singh, and I live in unit 1203 at 410 Weber Street in Kitchener. I am writing to report a serious mouse problem in my apartment. For the past two weeks, I have seen mice in my kitchen almost every evening, usually running along the counter or behind the stove. They have also chewed through several food packages in my cupboards, including bags of pasta and crackers. I now keep everything in plastic containers, but the mice are still coming in. I believe this problem may affect the whole building, not just my unit. My neighbour across the hall in unit 1204 has had exactly the same problem during the same period. I suspect more units are involved. Could you please arrange for a pest control company to inspect and treat my apartment, and ideally the entire floor or building, as soon as possible? Please let me know when they will come so I can be home. Thank you for your attention. Sincerely, Robert Singh

172 words

What works, and what's missing

Content/Coherence: specific details like 'running along the counter or behind the stove' and 'bags of pasta and crackers' make the problem easy to picture.
Task Fulfillment: the request for pest control on 'the entire floor or building' and 'let me know when they will come' covers both parts of the final point.
Content/Coherence: the building-wide claim stops at 'I suspect more units are involved', which asserts rather than explains how the mice might be spreading.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Property Manager, My name is Fatima Ali and I live in apartment 708 at 55 King Street in Kitchener. I am writing about a big problem in my apartment. For two weeks I see mice in my kitchen. I see them at night near the stove and one time in the morning on the counter. They eat my food in the cupboard. They make hole in the bag of rice and the box of cereal. I throw away many food. I am scared and my children also scared. I think all building have this problem. My neighbour in 707, across the hall, she have mice too. Maybe mice come from the walls or the garbage room. Please send pest control to my apartment and check all the building. Can you tell me which day they will come? Thank you, Fatima Ali

142 words

What holds it back

Readability: tense errors such as 'For two weeks I see mice' and 'They make hole in the bag of rice' make a two-week problem sound like a present habit.
Vocabulary: 'I throw away many food' and 'all building have this problem' show countable and article errors that a property manager would notice immediately.
Task Fulfillment: the building-wide point rests on one line, 'she have mice too', with only a guess about walls or the garbage room and no real reasoning.

These are original CELPass examples written at each level. The CLBs are our estimates, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB