CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Unfair Ruling at a Swim Meet

This prompt asks you to tell swim meet organizers about an inconsistent false-start ruling that disqualified you, how it affected you and how to make future meets fairer. The tricky part is showing the unfairness with clear facts while keeping a respectful tone towards volunteer officials.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

Last Saturday, you took part in an adult swim meet in Kelowna. Before your race, the rules about false starts were not explained clearly, and during the meet, officials seemed to apply them differently to different swimmers. You were disqualified from your best event, while other swimmers who did the same thing were not.

Write an email to the organizers of the swim meet in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Describe what happened at the swim meet.

Explain how this affected you.

Suggest how the organizers could make future events fairer.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A polite, formal email to the organizers of the Kelowna swim meet about an unfair disqualification.
Cover: what happened, how it affected you, and suggestions for fairer events.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Meet Organizers," and say which event and heat you swam.
What happened: the false start rule was never explained; you were disqualified, but swimmers in other heats who moved early were not.
Effect: months of training, a missed qualifying time for a bigger competition, family who travelled to watch.
Suggestions: send the rules in writing a week before, hold a short briefing before warm-up, give written reasons for disqualifications, offer an appeal.
Closing: thank the volunteers, say you want to compete again, full name.

Useful vocabulary

swim meet, heat, false start, disqualified
officials, consistent, briefing, appeal

Phrases

I am writing to raise a concern about...
As a result, I...
In the future, it would be fairer if...

Avoid

Blaming one official by name or sounding bitter.
Forgetting to praise what went well.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Meet Organizers, Thank you for hosting last Saturday's adult swim meet in Kelowna. While most of the day ran smoothly, I would like to raise a concern about how the false start rule was enforced. At no point before the meet were swimmers told whether a first false start would bring a warning or an immediate disqualification. In my 100-metre freestyle heat, I flinched slightly before the signal and was disqualified on the spot. Yet in two later heats, swimmers who made the same movement were simply called back for a restart. The decision cost me more than one race. I had trained five mornings a week since June to reach the provincial qualifying time, and this was my final opportunity of the season. My family had also driven from Vernon to watch. To keep future meets fair, I would recommend sending the rules to all entrants beforehand, holding a brief officials' meeting so every judge applies them the same way, and giving swimmers a written reason for any disqualification. I look forward to competing again at next year's meet. Sincerely, Sofia Lindqvist

184 words

Why it scores high

Content/Coherence: Opening with thanks and "While most of the day ran smoothly" sets a fair tone, so the complaint reads as constructive rather than bitter.
Vocabulary: Precise, natural phrases such as "flinched slightly," "disqualified on the spot" and "called back for a restart" make the incident easy to picture.
Task Fulfillment: The final suggestion bundles three concrete fixes, each matching a failure the writer described, which makes the advice easy to act on.

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Meet Organizers, My name is Sofia Lindqvist, and I competed in the adult swim meet in Kelowna last Saturday. I am writing to raise a concern about how the false start rule was applied. Before the meet, no one explained whether swimmers would get a warning or be disqualified for a first false start. In my 100-metre freestyle heat, I moved slightly before the signal and was disqualified immediately. However, in at least two later heats, swimmers who did the same thing were simply asked to restart. This was very disappointing for me. I had trained for four months to reach the qualifying time for the provincial championships, and this was my last chance this season. My family had also driven from Vernon to watch. For future events, I suggest emailing the rules to all swimmers in advance and holding a short briefing before warm-up. It would also help if officials agreed on how strictly to apply each rule. Thank you for organizing the meet. Sincerely, Sofia Lindqvist

169 words

What works, and what's missing

Content/Coherence: The writer explains exactly what was unclear: "whether swimmers would get a warning or be disqualified for a first false start."
Task Fulfillment: Each point has its own paragraph, and the effect is made real by the missed "qualifying time for the provincial championships."
Vocabulary: Correct and clear, though "This was very disappointing for me" is a plain opening; a stronger phrase would show the impact more vividly.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Organizers, My name is Kenji Sato. I swim at your meet in Kelowna last Saturday in the 50 metre freestyle. I want to tell you about a problem. Before the race nobody explain the rule for false start. In my heat I move a little bit before the beep and the official disqualify me. But in the next heat, two swimmers move also and nothing happen to them. I think this is not fair. I was very sad. I train for this race four months, five morning every week. I wanted to get a good time for provincial meet but now I can't. My wife and daughter also drive from Vernon to watch me. Next time, please send the rules by email before the meet. Also all officials must use the same rule for everybody. Thank you, Kenji Sato

140 words

What holds it back

Content/Coherence: The comparison with "the next heat" clearly shows the unfairness, but the suggestions paragraph is very short and gives only two ideas.
Vocabulary: Past events are told in the present, as in "I swim at your meet," "nobody explain" and "the official disqualify me."
Readability: Short sentences joined mostly by "and" or "But" give a list-like rhythm, and "I train for this race four months" is hard to read.

The CLBs are estimates of the level each sample was written at, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB