CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Laptop Still Overheating After Repair

This prompt asks you to write to a repair shop manager about a laptop that still fails after an expensive repair, plus a surprise extra fee. The tricky part is presenting the history clearly and objecting to the charge firmly without sounding accusatory.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

Two weeks ago, you took your laptop to a computer repair shop in Ottawa because it kept overheating and turning itself off. The shop quoted you $220 for the repair, but when you picked it up, you were charged an extra $95. Since then, the laptop has continued to shut down, and a new problem has appeared.

Write an email to the manager of the repair shop in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Explain what was wrong with your laptop and what repair you paid for.

Describe the problems you still have after the repair.

Explain why you are unhappy about the extra charge and say what you want the shop to do.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A formal, firm but polite email to the manager of the Ottawa repair shop.
Cover: the original problem and repair, the problems since, and the extra $95 plus what you want.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Manager," with your work order number and the dates you dropped off and picked up the laptop.
Original problem: it overheated and shut down; you agreed to a quote of $220 for a new fan and cleaning.
Problems now: it still shuts down after about an hour, plus a new issue, such as a loose hinge or a key that doesn't work.
Charge: the $95 was never explained or approved; ask for a free second repair and a refund of the extra fee.
Closing: thank them, full name, phone number.

Useful vocabulary

quote, invoice, work order, overheat
shut down, unauthorized charge, warranty, refund

Phrases

I brought my laptop in on... because...
Unfortunately, the problem has not been fixed.
I did not agree to... and I would like...

Avoid

Accusing the staff of cheating; stay factual.
Forgetting to say exactly what you want done.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Manager, I am writing about work order 3392, the repair of my laptop at your Bank Street location. On September 28, I brought it in because it was overheating and shutting itself off. Your technician diagnosed a faulty cooling fan and quoted $220 for a replacement and cleaning, which I approved. Regrettably, the original problem remains. The laptop still shuts down after roughly an hour, especially when I run video calls, which I need for work every day. Furthermore, the left speaker has stopped working entirely, a fault that did not exist before the repair and which I suspect occurred when the case was opened. I am equally concerned about the additional $95 I was charged at pickup. This amount was never discussed with me, I did not authorize it, and the invoice describes it only as "additional labour." I would therefore like the laptop to be repaired properly, including the speaker, at no further cost, and the $95 refunded to my credit card. I can drop it off any weekday after 4 p.m. Thank you for looking into this matter promptly. Sincerely, Aisha Karim

186 words

Why it scores high

Content/Coherence: The writer links the dead speaker to the repair with "which I suspect occurred when the case was opened," justifying the free repair request.
Vocabulary: Formal but natural choices such as "diagnosed a faulty cooling fan," "Regrettably" and "I did not authorize it" fit a firm complaint.
Task Fulfillment: The closing gives a full remedy and a practical next step: "I can drop it off any weekday after 4 p.m."

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Manager, My name is Aisha Karim, and I am writing about the repair of my laptop (work order 3392). On September 28, I brought it to your Bank Street location because it was overheating and shutting down without warning. Your technician said the cooling fan needed to be replaced and gave me a quote of $220, which I accepted. Unfortunately, the repair has not solved the problem. The laptop still shuts down after about an hour of use. In addition, the left speaker no longer works, even though it worked perfectly before I dropped the laptop off. I am also unhappy about the extra $95 on my invoice. No one called me to explain this charge or ask for my permission, and the receipt only says "additional labour." I would like your shop to repair the laptop again at no cost, including the speaker, and refund the $95. Please let me know when I can bring it back in. Sincerely, Aisha Karim 613-555-0172

164 words

What works, and what's missing

Task Fulfillment: Specific details such as "work order 3392" and the receipt saying "additional labour" make the complaint easy for the manager to check.
Readability: "Unfortunately," "In addition" and "I am also unhappy" guide the reader through each point in the order the prompt gives them.
Content/Coherence: The speaker problem is reported but not linked to the repair; one sentence suggesting the cause would make the request for a free fix stronger.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Manager, My name is Tomas Rivera. On September 28 I bring my laptop to your shop because it get very hot and turn off by itself. Your worker say the fan is broken and the price is $220. I agree and I pay. But the problem is not fix. After maybe one hour the laptop still turn off. Also now there is new problem, the left speaker don't make any sound. Before the repair the speaker was working fine. Another thing, when I pick up the laptop you charge me $95 more. Nobody tell me about this money before. I think this is not fair because I only agree for $220. Please repair my laptop again for free and fix the speaker too. And please give me back the $95. Thank you, Tomas Rivera 613-555-0148

136 words

What holds it back

Content/Coherence: The story is easy to follow and covers every point, but "Another thing" is the only link between the repair and the charge paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Present-tense errors such as "I bring my laptop," "it get very hot" and "the problem is not fix" appear throughout.
Task Fulfillment: The request is clear, but "Please repair my laptop again" gives no date or next step, so the manager must still contact the writer to arrange it.

The CLBs are estimates of the level each sample was written at, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB