CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Booking Trouble at a Health Centre

This prompt asks you to tell a health centre manager how a broken booking system and long phone waits delayed your prescription renewal, and how to fix it. The tricky part is explaining the health impact clearly and calmly, then offering practical improvements instead of simply complaining.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

You are a patient at a community health centre in Brampton. Last week, you needed an appointment to renew your prescription for blood pressure medication. The centre's online booking system kept showing an error message, and when you phoned, you waited a long time without reaching anyone. You ran out of your medication before you could see a doctor.

Write an email to the manager of the health centre in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Describe the difficulties you had when trying to book an appointment.

Explain how the delay affected your health.

Suggest how the centre could improve its booking system.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A formal, polite email to the manager of your Brampton community health centre.
Cover: booking difficulties, how the delay affected your health, and suggestions to improve the system.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Manager," and say you are a patient who needed a prescription renewal.
Difficulties: the online booking page showed an error for days; on the phone you were on hold for 40 minutes, then cut off.
Health: you ran out of blood pressure pills for three days, felt dizzy, had to go to a walk-in clinic and wait hours.
Suggestions: fix and test the website, a callback option, a few same-day slots or online prescription renewal requests.
Closing: thank them, full name, health card or patient number.

Useful vocabulary

appointment, booking system, error message, on hold
prescription renewal, blood pressure, walk-in clinic, callback

Phrases

Over the past week, I have tried repeatedly to...
Because of this delay, I...
It would make a big difference if...

Avoid

Blaming the reception staff; focus on the system.
Exaggerating medical details; keep it short and clear.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Manager, I have been a patient at your health centre for six years and have always valued its care. However, I am writing about a frustrating experience I had last week while trying to book an appointment to renew my blood pressure prescription. For four consecutive days, the online booking system displayed an error message whenever I selected a time slot. When I phoned instead, I remained on hold for more than 40 minutes on two occasions before the call was disconnected. As a result, my medication ran out and I went without it for three days. During that time I felt dizzy and suffered persistent headaches, and I eventually spent nearly four hours at a walk-in clinic simply to obtain a refill. To prevent this from happening to other patients, I would recommend monitoring the website more closely, introducing a callback service during busy periods, and allowing routine prescription renewals to be requested online. Even setting aside a few same-day slots for urgent renewals would make a real difference. Thank you for your attention to these suggestions. Sincerely, Marisol Ortega

182 words

Why it scores high

Content/Coherence: Opening with "have always valued its care" before the complaint creates a balanced, respectful tone that a manager is likely to take seriously.
Vocabulary: Precise phrases like "four consecutive days," "persistent headaches" and "routine prescription renewals" sound natural and professional.
Task Fulfillment: Framing the ideas as "To prevent this from happening to other patients" shows concern beyond the writer's own case, strengthening the request.

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Manager, My name is Marisol Ortega, and I have been a patient at your health centre for six years. I am writing about the difficulties I had last week when I tried to book an appointment to renew my blood pressure prescription. From Monday to Thursday, your online booking system showed the same error message every time I tried to choose a time. I also phoned the centre twice, but I was on hold for over 40 minutes and the call was eventually disconnected. Because of this delay, I ran out of my medication and went three days without it. I felt dizzy and had strong headaches, so I finally went to a walk-in clinic, where I waited almost four hours. I would suggest testing the booking website regularly and adding a callback option so patients do not have to stay on hold. It would also help to allow prescription renewal requests online. Thank you for considering my suggestions. Sincerely, Marisol Ortega

163 words

What works, and what's missing

Task Fulfillment: All three points are covered with specifics, such as "From Monday to Thursday" and "on hold for over 40 minutes."
Readability: Clear topic sentences and the link "Because of this delay" help the manager follow the story from problem to consequence to solution.
Content/Coherence: The suggestions are sound but not explained; saying how a callback option would help busy patients would make them more convincing.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Manager, My name is Harjit Gill and I am patient at your health centre for five years. Last week I need appointment because my blood pressure pills is almost finish and I need new prescription. I try to book on your website on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but every time it show error message. Then I call the centre. I wait on the phone 45 minutes and nobody answer, after that the line cut. Because of this I don't take my pills for three days. I feel dizzy and I have headache. Finally I go to walk-in clinic and wait four hours there. Please fix your website soon. Also maybe you can make a system for call back, so people don't wait long time on phone. It will help old people a lot. Thank you, Harjit Gill

138 words

What holds it back

Content/Coherence: The events are in a clear order, and "Because of this" links cause and effect, but the suggestions paragraph offers only two short ideas.
Vocabulary: Errors such as "my blood pressure pills is almost finish" and "I don't take my pills for three days" confuse number and tense.
Readability: Missing articles in "I am patient" and "I need appointment" and very short sentences make the email sound abrupt.

The CLBs are estimates of the level each sample was written at, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB