CELPIP Writing Task 1: Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample Answer: Reporting a Neighbour's Missing Cat

This prompt asks you to report your elderly neighbour's lost cat to the city, describe the problems you had with its lost pet service, and suggest fixes. The tricky part is combining a clear description of the pet, a complaint about the system and an urgent request for help in one short, polite email.

Time

27 minutes

Length

150–200 words

Tone

Formal or semi-formal, depending on the reader

The question

Your elderly neighbour in Hamilton, who does not use a computer, lost her cat five days ago. You offered to report it through the city's lost pet service, but the online form and the phone line were both difficult to use, and you have not received any reply.

Write an email to the city's animal services department in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things:

Explain your neighbour's situation.

Describe the problems you had with the lost pet service.

Suggest improvements to the service and ask for help finding the pet.

How to plan your answer

What they want

A polite, clear email to the city's animal services department for your elderly neighbour.
Cover: her situation, problems with the service, and suggestions plus a request for help.

Plan (27 min)

Greeting: "Dear Animal Services Team," and explain you are writing on behalf of your neighbour.
Situation: her indoor cat slipped out five days ago; describe it (colour, collar, microchip); she lives alone and is very upset.
Problems: the online form needed an account and wouldn't accept a photo; the phone line is only open weekdays; no reply after three days.
Suggestions: a simple form without an account, photo upload, a confirmation message; ask them to check shelter records and post the cat online.
Closing: thank them, your name, phone number and hers.

Useful vocabulary

missing, microchipped, shelter, report
on behalf of, upload, confirmation, reunite

Phrases

I am writing on behalf of my neighbour,...
When I tried to..., I found that...
I would be grateful if you could...

Avoid

Forgetting to describe the cat; they need details to find it.
Only complaining; include suggestions and a clear request.

Excellent answer: around CLB 11–12

Dear Animal Services Team, I am writing on behalf of my neighbour, Mrs. Dorothy Price, an 82-year-old widow on Aberdeen Avenue who does not use a computer. Five days ago, her indoor cat, Biscuit, slipped out when she opened the door for a delivery. He is a large orange cat with white paws, wears a blue collar and is microchipped. Biscuit is her only companion, and she has been heartbroken since he disappeared. Unfortunately, reporting him has been surprisingly difficult. Your online form required me to create an account before I could start, and it then rejected every photo I tried to upload. When I called on Saturday, a recording explained that the line operates only on weekdays. I submitted the form on Monday but have not received any acknowledgement. I would suggest allowing reports without an account, accepting phone photos, and sending an automatic confirmation, so residents know their report has arrived. In the meantime, I would be grateful if you could check your shelter records and microchip scans for Biscuit and contact me at 905-555-0193. Thank you very much for your assistance. Sincerely, Carlos Mendes

187 words

Why it scores high

Content/Coherence: Personal details like "Biscuit is her only companion" add urgency without being dramatic, giving the department a reason to act quickly.
Vocabulary: Precise words such as "rejected every photo," "any acknowledgement" and "microchip scans" sound natural and well suited to an official email.
Task Fulfillment: "In the meantime" separates long-term suggestions from the urgent request, so both parts of the third point are handled clearly.

Good answer: around CLB 7–8

Dear Animal Services Team, I am writing on behalf of my neighbour, Mrs. Dorothy Price, who is 82 and does not use a computer. Five days ago, her indoor cat, Biscuit, slipped out of her house on Aberdeen Avenue. He is orange with white paws, wears a blue collar and is microchipped. Mrs. Price lives alone and is extremely upset. I offered to report the cat through your lost pet service, but I had several problems. The online form required me to create an account, and then it would not accept the photo I tried to upload. When I phoned on Saturday, I learned the line is only open on weekdays. I finally submitted the form on Monday but have had no reply. I suggest allowing reports without an account and sending a confirmation email. Could you also please check your shelter records for Biscuit and contact me if he is found? Thank you in advance for your help. Sincerely, Carlos Mendes 905-555-0193

163 words

What works, and what's missing

Content/Coherence: Opening with "I am writing on behalf of my neighbour" explains the situation at once, and each problem is told in time order.
Task Fulfillment: Useful details like "microchipped" and the street name give staff real information to search with, and the final request is clear.
Vocabulary: Accurate and clear, but the suggestions paragraph is plain and brief; one more idea, such as weekend hours, would strengthen it.

Basic answer: around CLB 4–5

Dear Animal Services, My name is Carlos Mendes. I write for my neighbour, Mrs. Dorothy Price. She is 82 years old and she don't use computer. Her cat Biscuit is lost five days ago. He is orange cat with white feet and he wear a blue collar. Mrs. Price live alone and she cry every day. I try to help her with your lost pet service, but it was hard. On the website I must make account first, and after that the form don't accept the photo. I call the phone number on Saturday but nobody answer, because it open only Monday to Friday. I send the form on Monday and nobody reply me still. Please make the form more easy and open the phone on weekend. Also please check the shelters for Biscuit and call us if you find him. Thank you, Carlos Mendes

145 words

What holds it back

Task Fulfillment: The cat is described well with "orange cat with white feet" and "a blue collar," but the suggestions are short and general.
Vocabulary: Frequent errors such as "she don't use computer," "Her cat Biscuit is lost five days ago" and "nobody reply me" affect almost every sentence.
Readability: "I write for my neighbour" is unclear; 'on behalf of' would tell the reader at once why someone else is reporting the cat.

The CLBs are estimates of the level each sample was written at, not official CELPIP scores. How we estimate CLB